Speak your truth and it shall set you free. You feel that paralyzing fear that brings heaviness to your entire being and creates destructive scenarios in your head. You hear the phrase “unveil what is obscure in your heart and you shall find what you’ve been looking for,” you immediately feel this rush of light energy, you are not sure of what that is, but it certainly feels like a glimpse of the divine. To uncover what’s been obscuring your life, creating suffering for your soul, delaying your ability to grow to reflect your highest self evolution, is a very powerful yet confusing feeling. You began understanding that the hole that you experience is nothing someone else, a career or a trip can feed. The hole is there begging to be seen, to be understood and learned from so that healing can take place. If you have been doing the work, starting with loving yourself followed by watching yourself from an awareness standpoint, you will notice that the darkness that tries to persuade you into thinking negative thoughts that lead to self destruction will no longer be welcome in this energetic space. You can think of it as life cycles that has the purpose of soul evolution, and the more you do the work and evolve or hope to, the greater will be the tests- have the lessons been learned and integrated?
Patterns take a lot of practice for their undoing. Just like people who have suffered from addiction to an outside substance spend most of their lives practicing mindfulness not to ever fall under the temptation of that destructive pattern. People who love deep, who devote themselves entirely to their loved ones not realizing that their true source of fulfillment and happiness can only come from within their souls, tend to go so deep into relationships and becoming whom they think their partners would want them to be, that fall under a similar type of addiction. The ego says “if I am to live for someone else, give all that I have to this person, I expect to receive the same love in return.” This becomes dysfunctional for many reasons. First, love isn’t about expecting to receive what you gave out. Love is a state of being, is a sacred energy that resides within every soul and has the power to be multiplied when merging forces in a true divine partnership. Secondly, do not starve yourself from water to give it to your partner. If you are not hydrated how can you even bring water, the essence of life, to this relationship? You’ll die from thirst. You will kill the relationship because you think that since you don’t know how to love yourself your partner should do that job for you. At last, just like addicts practice and find outlets to channel their pain so they don’t have to turn to drugs or alcohol for a relief, a person who suffers from egotistical love, will have to do the same inner work to be able to keep himself in the light.
Don’t run away from what makes you feel uncomfortable. Simply watch it. Don’t entertain negative thoughts in your head. Watch them come and go. The more you practice mindfulness and non reactivity, the less you will be enslaved by your emotions.
One day, after practicing over and over how to become a master of your own mind, you will find yourself at a place where your thoughts will no longer be of a tsunami nature, but of a calm and peaceful lake. It will flow, take you where you need to go, make you feel at ease. For the first time you’ll learn that all the tricks your mind played on you, the suffering you created for yourself, was a redirection- for you to look for the deeper meaning of life, how to elevate to your highest potential as a soul, and to awaken you to your own light.
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