Every experience brings a lesson. Every relationship brings about hidden aspects of yourself to light.
The shadow is afraid of the light, and when life brings experiences that trigger the shadow self to come out of its darkness, it may initially feel like a heavy feeling in your heart that you cannot pin point where it comes from. People attract people that resonate in a similar energetic frequency, being that conscious or unconscious.
People struggle with the condition of “pleasing others at all cost,” while ignoring the heart’s true desire. The stronger you are in your heart, the least you will need to fill out the gap of pleasing people for the hope of being validated and loved. You feel such fear of asking for the other to be of help, that you end up carrying the world on your shoulders, hoping that everything will turn out ok. The moment you go out of your way to please someone’s soul, and in return you begin hurting the connection with your soul, you start slowly detaching yourself from your truth and begin living someone else’s truth.
Is people pleasing helpful to the other person or it simply enables them? If you keep doing something that doesn’t fit in with your lifestyle, with your truth, with who you are, just because you fear the other person reaction, then you will create not a problem only for the person, but also for yourself. Resentment in relationships being one of the most toxic emotions human beings experience, is the root of that heaviness we feel at our hearts when we are not being authentically ourselves and doing what bring us joy.
There is a big difference between being selfish, and being authentic. Being selfish means thinking about yourself first at all times, putting the needs of others aside because you believe you matter the most. It is a low frequency and high density state to be in when you no longer can hear the voice of heart, instead, voice of ego predominates and you always figure out a way that you can be ‘winning.’ Being authentic, on the other hand, means being completely immersed in your heart, speaking, acting and being truthful to what your heart says, no matter how others may respond to it. Authenticity doesn’t know fear, because the more authentic you are, the less fearful you become. When people tell me, ‘I have a hard time not pleasing others,’ the truth is it takes more courage to be authentic than it does to simply please. Authenticity knows courage, People pleasing knows fear. Your friends, your lover, your family, will love you for who you are authentically at your heart. Coward is the one who people pleases, and creates resentment in the heart because of fear of being themselves.
You can learn either from love or from pain.
Learning from Love means living in your heart and experiencing negative situations and problems through the eye of the heart, processing the lessons and incorporating them in your daily life. It means accepting what comes your way, because you take full responsibility over your life- it is the ability to know that life happens for you, always to move you closer to a higher state and quality of consciousness. It is to know that a true voice is a voice of joy, and despite the response of others, your responsibility is to go back to your soul’s source and be completely nude in your truth.
Learning from Pain means not accepting your heart as the main guide for your life, instead your illusionary mind empowers the ego to be the one fed in a daily basis. Your ego wants to be accepted, loved, validated, and in order to do so, it begins people pleasing, pursuing paths that look grandiose on other people’s eyes, buying material things to increase the idea of status, and etc. The more your ego grows, the more attached you get to the idea of “gain” and you start doing things that are completely out of your nature simply to ‘gain’ money, love, or success. The further you go in the path of living by EGO, the stronger is the fall when the lessons show themselves. No-one can live forever a lie, or keep a healthy mindset while not feeding the heart. At some point, those who choose the path of Ego, find themselves lost, full of resentment, with deep existential questions, and with a completely comprised connection to the true essence of self. That is when the lessons through the pain come, and if you listen to your suffering heart and find stillness, the lessons will become crystal clear.
Sign up now and get 15% off your first order